I have been known for many things, but being graceful, poised, timid, submissive, were never the adjectives to describe me. I have been called assertive, aggressive, a bitch, a bad ass, and other adjectives that sometimes, I wish I could suppress. No matter how much I tried, I could never quite be the sweet little princess I always wanted to be. But one day, I woke up, and realized all of my strengths, made me strong. And I realized being strong is something many women, and men, worked to achieve every day. And this, my friends, was a wonderful awakening.
As you know, I sell forklifts and other material handling systems for a living. This is an older male dominated world that women like me can kick ass in. Women in this industry are pushed hard to know their product, but when we do, we earn the respect of our clients and earn life long business relationships. I have had few before me and I hope many come behind me. My goal for the future is to have this business 50/50, if not women dominated.
Today, I was the only woman in a room full of 8 executives, and hopefully the pride I had beamed toward my audience. I presented the biggest forklift deal of my career, fearlessly, eagerly and powerfully. I looked back on my experience today, and I wondered how I got here. I wondered how I could stand up in front of a group of men without self doubt that other professionals may have. I wonder how I stood in a skirt, unaware of the pant-filled conference room in front of me. And I realized, I was able to do this because when growing up, no one ever told me I was a girl.
I have two older brothers who I followed around baseball parks for 5 years before I decided I wanted to play t-ball when I was old enough. My parents enrolled me on an all boys team, and did the same the next year. I played with these boys, probably not very well, but played, none-the-less, for 2 years. I grew up on a street with all boys, rollerskating, sliding down mud hills, playing hockey, riding dirt bikes, and just enjoying my childhood. Sure, I liked dolls, stuffed animals, make up and jewelry, but I really liked my time with my friends. My mother, father, brothers, neighbors and close friends never mentioned that I couldn't do anything because I was a girl. They took me as I was, and I lived life not knowing societal limitations.
These gender limitations, that I had never been exposed to, slightly showed themselves when I moved to Arkansas for college. My sorority tried to tell me, "girls don't do that." My sweet southern family tried to emphasize, "a true southern woman would never..." Well meaning colleagues would mention, "When you become a mother you may want to quit work." So when my career started moving upward, my husband and I agreed to move back to Southern California where we could both work without any demeaning opinions. My husband never mentioned that I was a woman and I shouldn't be pursuing a career. And I excelled. I excelled because my husband supported me, humbled himself, and let me succeed.
Looking back, it is incredible I survived the south with my desire to work, succeed, and provide for my family. I believe because of the forward thinking groups I involved myself in such as Junior League of NwA, I was able to stay strong in my idea that women can be successful, too. I joined groups of strong women that could surround and enable me. But, it's sad I had to go out of my way to avoid "gender norms." In California, stereotypes still stand true, however they aren't pushed like other places I have been. I am so happy my mother allowed me to do what I wanted, be friends with whomever I wanted, and create my own opinions on "what was for boys, and what was for girls." She never told me that what I was interested in was "for boys." Maybe it was because it was easier to let me enjoy my brother's hand-me-down toys then buy me new ones, but regardless, she let me explore, learn and excel in my own way.
The idea that girls need to be "princesses" and "boys will be boys" has to go. And this idea starts with the parents. I hope to raise my son to know that women and men are equal, and girls can do everything boys can do, and vice versa. If he wants to pick up a pink giraffe when I tell him I will buy him a toy, then he will get the pink giraffe. I won't point him to the blue one, fearful of gender stereotypes. Those are colors, and small changes we can make to avoid gender differentiation issues. I am so happy my mother never mentioned I was a girl when I wanted to do something. Now, I can stand in a conference room of 8 men and present with pride. Pride In my product, in my preparation, in my hard work, and pride that I'm a freaking bad ass... especially because I'm a girl.
So let's raise bad asses, let's raise emotional humans, let's raise the children who were given to us, and not try to steer their gender stereotypes, but rather their interests, desires and strengths. Let's raise a generation who can create a united world.
